In the beginning of my authoress journey, I wanted to be a New York Times bestselling author. I wrote it down in every journal I owned. Like how you practice your spelling words. Then I would practice how people would introduce me at all my Ted Talks. Introducing Ty Alexander, New York Times Best Selling Author. I even drafted an email signature for the arrival of my new best selling title. . . . It never came. . . . I quickly realized that selling books is a far different beast than actually writing books. We were planning our wedding so I didn’t have money for PR. We were moving to another state so I didn’t do a press tour. I didn’t do any speaking engagements. I thought I’d write this book and you’d buy it because... duh it’s a good book. . . . I was sad. I felt defeated. I was disappointed. And after of a year or so of no accolades and no list making I decided that perhaps that best seller goal was meant for another time, maybe another book. . . . I am extremely proud of my first book. Women across the country email me and tell me how my words have helped them during their grieving process. I’m honored to be so intimately attached to something so private for people. So those things became more valuable and more important than any list I would have made. . . . However... . . . I just got an email from my publisher. I am officially a #1 Best Selling Author on Amazon. . . . She said, “Its a good thing to brag every now and then.” So I’m doing just that. Also really trying to get better at celebrating myself. . . . Thanks to everyone who bought or gifted my book. Y’all made this happen for me and I love you. . . . Grab your copy if you haven’t already, link in my bio!
Before you comment, no I haven’t lost weight. I work out (ish) so my body has formed some muscle. And some fat may have moved from the top to the bottom (or the other way around). I also know that wrap dresses are like a loyal girlfriend. And a good pair of jeans will never do me wrong. As a plus size women, I know how to stand and pose to make my body appear more “flattering” aka more “skinny”. It’s what I’ve done all my life. It’s how I was trained. “Don’t stand like that, your boobs look wide.” “Your tummy is showing, hold it in.” “Don’t pose to the side, you look fat.” These are all comments and instructions I was given as a child. So at 41, I lean forward a little bit in photos because I know my tummy won’t look so big. I never take photos sitting down because fat likes to be spread out. And I lift one shoulder up in all my pics because it stretches my torso and makes me look taller than 5’7”. I share this with you because you’ve probably unknowingly (or rudely knowingly) created an insecurity for some little girl in your life. You’ve called her chubby or asked her to shrink a bit because you thought she was taking up too much space. Today I ask (or challenge) you to let her know how smart or kind she is instead of commenting on her body. It’s true we all want to be noticed. But let’s start somewhere else other than our body parts. 🚨 There, I went first. Now you tell me something you are insecure about. I’ll remind you that sharing gives it less power! (Dress from @macys, PC: @fouroneohblog) #gorgeousingrey
You guys... We still have a few more hours to shop #PrimeDay on @Amazon. I’ve updated my link that’s listed in my bio with lots of deals including this top I found + Alexa (aka the Echo♥️) is now $69.99. Sale ends tomorrow! Grab what you can today before the sale ends. #AmazonPrime #GorgeousInGrey
How many of you believe happiness is a choice? I’ve lost and found myself so many times during my grieving journey and there’s one thing that brings me back... choosing to be happy! Insert lots of affirmations, still moments, and prayer. It’s still my choice. What are you choosing to do on this glorious #SuperSoulSunday? (PC: @fouroneohblog)
“None of us are so strong that we don’t find ourselves in dark places sometimes.” . . . 🔊When I heard this on the recent #QueenSugar episode I was instantly triggered. Since Ive decided to focus on and discover my own emotional intelligence I’ve become this vessel for others to do the same. I’ve been given this new talent where I can quickly access and offer Iyanla-esque gems to any situation (did you catch my Instagram Live this week, it was a tearjerker). But sometimes after Im done bestowing all these glorious baubles of healing on others I’m left drained and in the dark by myself. ♥️ . . . 🔊In this week’s Friday Feels love letter I talk about how I preserve myself so that I can offer up the best version of me to the world. If you’re not subscribed click the link in my bio! ♥️ . . . 🔊 In the spirit of transparency, tell me the one small thing you accomplished this week. Mine was sending out this newsletter. #DestinationHeal #GorgeousInGrey ♥️
“I might not be someone’s first choice, but I am a great choice. I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, because I’m good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I’ve done in the past, but I’m proud of who I am today. I may not be perfect, but I don’t need to be. Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away. — Unknown
I ended my #EssenceFest weekend with a good girlfriend Kiki on @Essence’s Facebook Live. I got a chance to chat it up with my faves @giapeppers @charlipenn @yolizama about taking care of yourself and what @mbib‘s new social campaign #BlackGirlsDo means to us. (I posted the video on my FB page, go watch!) #GorgeousInGrey #gigspon
Nawlins, it’s your turn! We’re celebrating @EssenceFest with a little in-store fun at Walmart (8101 W. Judge Perez Drive Chalmette, LA 70043). If you missed our last block party a few weeks ago you have got to come see us in Nawlins! This Saturday July 7th from 12pm-3pm. I’ll be dancing and doing giveaways again from my favorite brands @Covergirl, @Carolsdaughter and @Aveeno. And you know I will be taking lots of selfies (it’s what I do!) So, we got a date right! See you soon. #EssenceFest #ad #gigspon
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” Sometimes I have to become a hermit and block out all the noise. Reset! This allows me to only hear “my” thoughts. Sometimes “the scroll” (my affectionate name for the Internet) clutters those things. Also remember everything/everyone doesn’t need a response. It’s ok to process things inwardly. (P.S. My turban is straight from Ghana via @safoa_sa4a)
Remember a decade ago when you asked me to film this look. Finally! *insert shoulder shimmy here* You can watch the FULL video on my YouTube channel + find the links to purchase all the products I used below. 🤔 Also comment below and let me know what other kind of videos you’d like to see 🤗 Also do me a favor and share this video with your friends. Click that triangle and go spam your loved ones! . . 🔑 @MACCosmetics Prep + Prime Skin . . . 🔑 @narsissist Natural Radiant Longwear Foundation (Macao) . . . 🔑 @narsissist Radiant Creamy Concealer (Med/Dark 1.5 Sucre D’Orge) . . . 🔑 @fentybeauty Match Stix Matte Skinstick (Espresso) . . . 🔑 @beautybakeriemakeup FLOUR SETTING POWDER (YELLOW) . . . 🔑 @lancomeofficial Blush Subtil Delicate Oil-Free Powder Blush (Midnight Rose) . . . 🔑 @stilacosmetics Perfect Me, Perfect Hue Eye & Cheek Palette(Tan/Deep) . . . 🔑 @stilacosmetics Shimmer & Glow Liquid Eye Shadow (grace) . . . 🔑 @narsissist Orgasm Illuminating Loose Powder . . . 🔑 @clarinsusa Instant Light Lip Comfort Oil (Honey Glam)
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